Pregnancy in the Netherlands

I do not have much (or really anything) to compare it to -- but I have to say, being pregnant in the Netherlands has been pretty great and, if nothing else, a balm to my Type-A craziness.

We moved here in the middle of my 13th week of pregnancy. The first 12 weeks in Chicago were a whirlwind of doctors appointments, anxiety, and secrecy. We left the country with a clean bill of health for me and the baby, and since then (knock on wood), there haven't been any complications. I try not to foist too many expectations on this little unborn person, but he/she seemed to realize very early that there was going to be so much else happening that we were going to need to navigate (in a foreign language) that it would be really, really ideal for him/her to kick early (and often), maintain a strong, easy-to-find heartbeat, and let my blood pressure stay so low that even after falling off a bicycle, and needing to clean up a bloody cut on my knee (while trying very hard not to have a breakdown in the midwife's office) -- it would only ever get to 110 over 70. So my experience has only ever been as a pretty model patient.

First official "bump" photo - 21 weeks

I  went with one of the biggest midwife "brands" because they were really easy to navigate. They always, always comment on how beautiful my belly is. It is something Danny and I joke about, but let me tell you -- it is quite the ego boost when you're feeling like a beached beluga to have a woman exclaim, "your belly is so beautiful!" 

My appointments are about 20 minutes long. We go in, and she (they all run the appointments the same way) asks how I'm feeling and if I have questions. Then she takes my blood pressure. I lie down on the table and she feels around on my belly. We listen to the heartbeat. We schedule the next appointment. And we're done. I've never been weighed. I've had my blood taken twice (once at my first appointment for the standard full work up and once around 28 weeks to check my iron). Anytime I ask about other tests (gestational diabetes, Strep B, whatever else the apps on my phone say I need to ask about), she brushes it off. Why would they do all those tests when I'm healthy? This seems to be the MO of prenatal care in the Netherlands.  They don't treat pregnancy as an illness or an injury, rather as a process that your body is going through naturally.

27 Weeks. 

This hands-off approach makes a lot of sense, but coming from America, has been a challenge for me to accept. I am worried about everything. Strange pain, weird movements from the baby, making sure all my "levels" are good. While they all do what they can to sooth these anxieties, the answer is almost always a blunt "You're growing a person. Things might feel strange, but everything is fine." The only instance of acquiescing to my anxiety was when we were a few weeks away from flying back to the US and since I was going to be on the cusp of being "fit to fly" and was worried about preterm labor and the baby's growth, she signed the order for a bonus 30-week ultrasound.

This difference between Anglo and Dutch views on pregnancy was no more obvious then when we tried to fly back to the States. We flew from Amsterdam to Oslo with no issues. Then on our flight from Oslo to the US, the British Airways check in people had a meltdown because my letter from the midwife did not expressly say "fit to fly." This meant I had to call the on-call midwife at 5:30 am (not cool) and explain the situation. I could hear her bristling over the phone, what makes someone fit to fly? If I wasn't healthy, why would she have given me this letter in the first place? Everything she was saying was making sense, but this really tedious middle manager at British Air said that they couldn't let me on the plane without a letter specifically saying I was fit to fly. It was for my own "safety" (which, of course, actually means for their own liability).  It was really frustrating to be stuck in this cultural détente. In the future, I'm probably just going to demand that (especially when flying an Anglo carrier) they write "fit to fly" on the letter. Or I'll just not fly again at 33 weeks (probably a better choice).

31 weeks.

In the Netherlands you get 16 weeks (paid) maternity leave and are required to start your leave 4-6 weeks before your due date. When I first heard this, I was annoyed. Why would I want to start so early when I could save up that time for being with the baby after he/she is born? But! As the days ticked down, I got really, really grateful for this mandatory pre-baby leave. It means I sleep so much during the day (which is really nice because I do not sleep at all at night). I have time to do all the things I have been meaning to do (like *finally* go to a physical therapist who fixed a problem I have been struggling with in my hamstring/pelvis since August) and just get ready for the baby. I got a clean break from all my work, so left feeling a little bit guilty, but not worried that there was something I forgot to do. I get to go on walks and get coffee when I feel up to it. I get to make dinner and things to go in the freezer. I am putting slightly more effort into making friends. But really my first priority is to just cook this little one. Its been blissfully refreshing to have people say, "your job is to rest." And while there have been moments of boredom, I will happily take them over having to haul this belly around on the train and into meetings.

38 weeks

The most surprising thing has been the fact that I am still (as of Wednesday, anyway) riding my bicycle. I don't ride for more than 20 minutes at a time, and the rides are sloooooow, but it is actually one of my favorite things. It hurts far less than walking, but still makes me feel active. I'm not quite the speed demon I was in the second trimester, but I have no intention of stopping (this week anyway). I feel very lucky to live somewhere where I feel comfortable riding a bike, and where caregivers love on my belly, and the government gives me four weeks to spend some real one-on-one time with this kicking machine. I cannot wait to see what the next chapter will bring.