A dutch baby!

Penelope Eliza was born on December 5 weighing 3.61 kilograms.

She shares her birthday with Sinterklaas which is kind of like sharing your birthday with Christmas (so, Jesus?) in America. Her birth story is a story for another day, we're just so happy that she is here and healthy and I am incredibly proud of myself for taking my last bike ride 6 hours before going into labor.

Danny was very excited to pick up her birth certificate which proudly announces her as being born in Amsterdam. And they even threw in some branded swag for her.

Our kraamzorg was the second best thing to ever happen to us. Taking care of all three of us in that first bleary, unreal week of parenthood/being out of the womb. We all cried when she left. America -- you gotta get yourself some kraamzorgs.

We are so excited to be on this new adventure with our little Pip.

Two Dutch day trips

The Netherlands is a pretty tee-tiny little country which lends itself to tons of international travel (France is literally three hours away), but there are so many fun things right here in the Netherlands. We have a long list of adventures that are just a short train ride away this coming spring. Here's a couple of places we've managed so far.

 Gouda.

First things first - please don't say it like you would say the name of the cheese. If you're feeling brave and worldly - you can say "HOW-da" with a guttural "how." If you're not trying to be someone you're not - saying it "gow-da" (or just "how-da") will get the message across. The good news is while you don't say it like the cheese, it is where cheese comes from.

Gouda is best experienced in the summer on one of the cheese market days. It is touristy as all get out, but you're a tourist right? Embrace it. There's people dressed up in oldey-timey clothes (and wooden shoes!) and there are secret handshakes. It's a delight. It will be over crowded with other tourists so once you've had your fill of touristy photos and bought yourself some cheese and a few oliebollen, get out of the town square and the rest of Gouda will be basically empty.

The best way to explore Gouda is to just walk around, follow canals, cross bridges, and get lost on the little streets. There are canal tours if you want to see the city by boat, but it is small enough that just walking around for a few hours will be lovely.

If you like to have stops planned:
Museum Gouda cafe - I just went in to use their bathroom but I had I not just eaten an entire bag of oliebollen on my walk, I would have had a proper meal.
Stroopwafel cafe - stroopwafels (or siroopwafels) are a fan favorite - you can see how they are made and buy them fresh, right from the source. The little street that the stroopwafle cafe is on is super cute with some adorable little shops.

There is also a church, and the museum, and you can explore the town hall building in the center of the main square if you need more structured activities.

Den Haag.

Much like Gouda - rather than saying The Hague, the Dutch pronounce it "den haag" (exactly how it looks). Den Haag lends itself to a little more structured visit than Gouda or a smaller town. We started our day with a tour of parliament.

We had a leisurely walk around the center of the city. We skipped the Mauritshuis museum but if the Girl with Pearl Earring does it for you, you can find her there. We also skipped the MC Esher museum (I find it hard to justify wandering around museums when it is sunny outside), but it would also be a good way to wait out a rain storm. We went to the Peace Palace but dropped the ball on getting a tour of the gardens or the building itself. The visitor's center was nice, but do better than us if this is on your list.

After lunch we made it out to Madurodam in Schevenigen. I do not recommend this as a Saturday excursion unless you really love kids running all around completely unsupervised. It is a hilariously awesome place full of miniature displays from around the Netherlands. But, Saturday afternoon was a poor choice on our part.

After Madurodam we went to the beach for the international fireworks festival. If you're in the country when it is happening (mid August), it is worth the trip. The only problem with Schevenigen's boardwalk is it is just like every other boardwalk. Endless restaurants that are all pretty much the same food at pretty much the same over-priced-price. We ended up eating in the De Pier, because it had the most interesting variety of food and also, it was cold and we didn't want to sit outside (the weather is fickle in the Netherlands, even in the summer).

There are so many great places just a quick train ride from Amsterdam -- we're excited to see more in 2018.

Pregnancy in the Netherlands

I do not have much (or really anything) to compare it to -- but I have to say, being pregnant in the Netherlands has been pretty great and, if nothing else, a balm to my Type-A craziness.

We moved here in the middle of my 13th week of pregnancy. The first 12 weeks in Chicago were a whirlwind of doctors appointments, anxiety, and secrecy. We left the country with a clean bill of health for me and the baby, and since then (knock on wood), there haven't been any complications. I try not to foist too many expectations on this little unborn person, but he/she seemed to realize very early that there was going to be so much else happening that we were going to need to navigate (in a foreign language) that it would be really, really ideal for him/her to kick early (and often), maintain a strong, easy-to-find heartbeat, and let my blood pressure stay so low that even after falling off a bicycle, and needing to clean up a bloody cut on my knee (while trying very hard not to have a breakdown in the midwife's office) -- it would only ever get to 110 over 70. So my experience has only ever been as a pretty model patient.

First official "bump" photo - 21 weeks

I  went with one of the biggest midwife "brands" because they were really easy to navigate. They always, always comment on how beautiful my belly is. It is something Danny and I joke about, but let me tell you -- it is quite the ego boost when you're feeling like a beached beluga to have a woman exclaim, "your belly is so beautiful!" 

My appointments are about 20 minutes long. We go in, and she (they all run the appointments the same way) asks how I'm feeling and if I have questions. Then she takes my blood pressure. I lie down on the table and she feels around on my belly. We listen to the heartbeat. We schedule the next appointment. And we're done. I've never been weighed. I've had my blood taken twice (once at my first appointment for the standard full work up and once around 28 weeks to check my iron). Anytime I ask about other tests (gestational diabetes, Strep B, whatever else the apps on my phone say I need to ask about), she brushes it off. Why would they do all those tests when I'm healthy? This seems to be the MO of prenatal care in the Netherlands.  They don't treat pregnancy as an illness or an injury, rather as a process that your body is going through naturally.

27 Weeks. 

This hands-off approach makes a lot of sense, but coming from America, has been a challenge for me to accept. I am worried about everything. Strange pain, weird movements from the baby, making sure all my "levels" are good. While they all do what they can to sooth these anxieties, the answer is almost always a blunt "You're growing a person. Things might feel strange, but everything is fine." The only instance of acquiescing to my anxiety was when we were a few weeks away from flying back to the US and since I was going to be on the cusp of being "fit to fly" and was worried about preterm labor and the baby's growth, she signed the order for a bonus 30-week ultrasound.

This difference between Anglo and Dutch views on pregnancy was no more obvious then when we tried to fly back to the States. We flew from Amsterdam to Oslo with no issues. Then on our flight from Oslo to the US, the British Airways check in people had a meltdown because my letter from the midwife did not expressly say "fit to fly." This meant I had to call the on-call midwife at 5:30 am (not cool) and explain the situation. I could hear her bristling over the phone, what makes someone fit to fly? If I wasn't healthy, why would she have given me this letter in the first place? Everything she was saying was making sense, but this really tedious middle manager at British Air said that they couldn't let me on the plane without a letter specifically saying I was fit to fly. It was for my own "safety" (which, of course, actually means for their own liability).  It was really frustrating to be stuck in this cultural détente. In the future, I'm probably just going to demand that (especially when flying an Anglo carrier) they write "fit to fly" on the letter. Or I'll just not fly again at 33 weeks (probably a better choice).

31 weeks.

In the Netherlands you get 16 weeks (paid) maternity leave and are required to start your leave 4-6 weeks before your due date. When I first heard this, I was annoyed. Why would I want to start so early when I could save up that time for being with the baby after he/she is born? But! As the days ticked down, I got really, really grateful for this mandatory pre-baby leave. It means I sleep so much during the day (which is really nice because I do not sleep at all at night). I have time to do all the things I have been meaning to do (like *finally* go to a physical therapist who fixed a problem I have been struggling with in my hamstring/pelvis since August) and just get ready for the baby. I got a clean break from all my work, so left feeling a little bit guilty, but not worried that there was something I forgot to do. I get to go on walks and get coffee when I feel up to it. I get to make dinner and things to go in the freezer. I am putting slightly more effort into making friends. But really my first priority is to just cook this little one. Its been blissfully refreshing to have people say, "your job is to rest." And while there have been moments of boredom, I will happily take them over having to haul this belly around on the train and into meetings.

38 weeks

The most surprising thing has been the fact that I am still (as of Wednesday, anyway) riding my bicycle. I don't ride for more than 20 minutes at a time, and the rides are sloooooow, but it is actually one of my favorite things. It hurts far less than walking, but still makes me feel active. I'm not quite the speed demon I was in the second trimester, but I have no intention of stopping (this week anyway). I feel very lucky to live somewhere where I feel comfortable riding a bike, and where caregivers love on my belly, and the government gives me four weeks to spend some real one-on-one time with this kicking machine. I cannot wait to see what the next chapter will bring.

Our first (Dutch) Thanksgiving

If I wasn't so against wearing pants these days, we probably would have made more of an effort to celebrate with other people. But instead, pants are optional, and its just the two of us. It is actually the third thanksgiving we're flying solo (duo) in a row. Two years ago, we celebrated on the shores of Lake Tekapo in an RV, last year, we had just gotten back from our trip to Europe and didn't have the energy to do anything beyond make some asparagus and lie on the couch in our PJs. We're getting really good at small thanksgivings, but I think next year, we'll try to get in on some sort of potluck action.

Danny worked all day and I'm only at home because I'm on leave. All the stores are open, kids are in school. It is a totally normal day here. Which is one of those "duh," moments, but also something that I am still processing. Also, apparently Dutch companies don't do turkey, but they do do Black Friday. Glad to see all the best parts of America are making their way across the pond.

There are many things that haven't made their way over, like the semi-homemade vibe. Which means we've had to roast a pumpkin for our pie, make chicken stock out of bouillon cubes, and tear up bread for stuffing (which is actually ideal, never say no to extra french bread in the house). Also, while we were never planning to make a big ole turkey, if we had decided to do so -- I'm not even sure where they come from. There is for sure not a big refrigerated bin of them at the store.

Grocery shopping in a foreign country takes some serious adjusting. Things are categorized differently (all purpose flour is not a thing), somethings just don't exist (like canola oil, apparently), somethings are impossible to find (the brown sugar, instead of living with baking supplies, lives with coffee and tea... it took me four months to remember this), and when you're dealing with a little bit of brain drain like I am, sometimes you make dumb mistakes that you probably wouldn't make if you were looking at labels that were in English (instead of buying heavy whipping cream, I bought just whipped cream -- it has the same name so I just bought it without realizing that the airy, lightweight container couldn't possible have anything but already whipped cream...which is called slagroom, FYI).

At any rate, we managed to get all of our groceries (one perk of a foreign thanksgiving, the grocery store was emp.ty. Combined, we went three times yesterday and came out completely unscathed).

We started the morning with cranberry, orange, pumpkin muffins (no icing! so healthy). I like an on-theme breakfast. The recipe made approximately one billion so we're freezing lots of them to have all winter long. I was surprised by how easy it was to find fresh cranberries. We really only made this because we had a ton of extra pumpkin puree, far more than we would need for pie. A pretty small pumpkin gave us enough to make muffins, pie, a quiche, and a little extra for some weekend pancakes. If you have the time to roast and puree it -- buying a pie pumpkin is so much more economical if you want all the pumpkin things.

For dinner, we decided to really focus on the sides - because (as everyone can agree), the sides are the best part of Thanksgiving. And because I had zero interest in cooking turkey.

First things first, we have been seeing these mini fondue pans in commercials for weeks, so we finally bought one and we had babybel fondue for appetizers.

We added sausage to this apple-herb stuffing recipe for a little bit of protein. We made these roasted sweet potatoes with honey and cinnamon (then covered them in mini marshmallows, natch) We weren't going to have mashed potatoes, but they're my favorite, potatoes were on kortig (sale) and this recipe was super easy. Of course, that meant we also needed gravy. And then I looked around and realize there are zero vegetables, so I roasted some broccoli with garlic (I am way too proud of myself for not needing a recipe for this one).

And then of course pumpkin pie. With all slagroom. Danny had extra pie dough, so I convinced him to try the cut out thing. He went with the Sinterklaas cut out as a nod to our new culture.

It felt close enough to a real thanksgiving meal that we feel connected to the US and tradition, but is just "us" enough that it feels very new.

Mostly, we are taking time to think about how thankful we are. Looking back on just one thanksgiving ago, so much has changed and, in our immediate lives, at least, changed for the better. We're so excited to live in a country where we feel like the government truly has our best interest at heart. We're thankful for two jobs that make us feel like we're contributing in a satisfying way. And far and away, beyond all other things, we are so grateful for this little person who we hope to meet in just a few short weeks (if not days. Any day now, baby). We are so happy to be celebrating this thanksgiving, but in all honesty, it pales in comparison to our excitement about the next one.

If nothing else because maybe next year, I'll get the whipping cream right.

Five Months Later.

It has been five months since I wrote about our lives in Amsterdam. The neglect wasn't purposeful, more that I wasn't sure if what we were doing was actually worth blogging about. But I recently met a fellow ex-pat (from Frederick, MD no less!) who has been blogging about her life in Amsterdam since 2014. I found myself getting lost in her archives and realized that we really should be writing some of this stuff down. So -- here we are, nearly six months in Amsterdam.

Since I last wrote we have managed to settle down and get into a routine, just in time for everything to be thrown into chaos in a few weeks. In July we announced a little stowaway we brought along with us.

This little one will be making an appearance in the next couple weeks. So while I'm home on leave waiting for the big reveal, I'm going to try to play catch up on this blog.

So, five month check in. How goes it?

Good.

Jobs?
Awesome. Danny has already gotten a promotion (of course). He'll be running Booking.com in the next six months. Rachel won the co-worker lottery and despite taking maternity leave four short months after starting, has been welcomed by an amazing group who trust her, inspire her, and push her to take on big challenges, supporting her every step of the way. The commute is still long but the hours in the office (while sometimes frustrating) have left her feeling more energized than she ever though possible. The perks of being an American fish in a small pond.

Most favorite things?
Snacks. We've almost made our way through the entire cookie aisle of the local Jumbo supermarket with incredibly favorable results and now its Sinterklaas/Christmas season and we're in marzipan heaven. The Dutch know their way around a bag of sour candy, a jar of pickles, and tiny fried bites of yum. They have crouton balls for your soup and coconut slices for your pb & j sandwiches. The sprinkles on your breakfast toast thing isn't a joke either.

Bikes. In the rain, in the wind, uphill both ways. In a very Dutch move, Rachel bought a bike that lives in Rotterdam to get her to/from work and the train station. So she owns two bikes in two cities. That's some level 8 Dutch living. Danny has found no limit to what he can haul around on his bike. We love it. It is truly the fastest, best way to get anywhere.

Least favorite things?
Noisy neighbors. This isn't a Dutch specific thing, and we know we could have rolled the dice and ended up with crap neighbors in the US too (and we did, several times), but our apartment on Argyle spoiled us and now living with a cafe/bar that seems to overserve their patrons and then encourage them to sing in street the early hours of the morning has left us a little frustrated. We are optimistic that the winter months will put an end to this behavior.

The weather. It's not great. It rains a lot. BUT it makes us appreciate the sunny days that much more. And there are rainbows everywhere. All the time. You would think we would have gotten more chill about the rainbows in five months. Wrong. Zero chill. 100 photos on both phones of the rainbows.

Travel?
We went to Bordeaux.

And Malaga.

And London.

And Oslo.

And Copenhagen.

We even managed to sneak in a trip back to the US because back in because this nugget has four very excited, brand new grandparents (not to mention aunts, uncles, cousins, and besties for the resties) who couldn't wait until next summer to spoil him/her. So we had to fly back to the US with a couple empty suitcases. We came back with more blankets than one child could possibly need and confidence that we were making the right choice by having this adventure in Amsterdam.

More updates to come!

Three Weeks

Today marks exactly three weeks since we've moved to the Netherlands and we have made tremendous progress towards getting settled. Here are some things we have:

An apartment!!! This process deserves its own blog post. It was harrowing but baring any horrendous last minute crisis, we move in on Friday (one million praise hand emojis)

Residency Permits!!! We're card carrying residents now. I have to give all my gratitudes to the nice people at the expat center who did quite the airbrush on my photo and made me look almost like a human and significantly less like the hideous sea creature I was that morning.

Bank cards!!! This took foreeeeever but now we can buy things! So many places only accept cash or only accept debit cards with pin numbers and we felt very left out (you know I love buying things). Now I can do my part to stimulate the Dutch economy.

Doctors!!! I have an appointment tomorrow to see my doctor (who got me in for a new patient appointment with 48 hours notice, which has probably never happened in the history of America. +1 Netherlands).

Bikes!!!

Here are some things we're still working on:

Furniture. We have all our fingers and toes crossed that they're going to be able to get all our Chicago furniture into our apartment. All the Dutch people said they'll figure it out, but the whole country also just use two twin mattresses shoved together instead of a queen sized mattress, so I am incredibly skeptical. Also, we are going to need to do quite the IKEA run since this country doesn't come with closets and in our haste to purge in America we got rid of some critical things (like our TV stand). So we're renting a minivan and loading up on Swedish meatballs. IKEA is my happiest place, so I'm sitting by the door like a dog with her leash in her mouth, waiting for Danny to tell me it is time to go.

Cell phones. We're halfway on this one. Danny is all set with his Dutch phone number. I have been dragging my feet. After having the same cellphone number forever, its been a much harder goodbye than I was expecting. I finally ordered my sim card (read: Danny got frustrated and ordered it for me) and once it is ready for pick up, I'll port my trusty - 301 number to google voice and get with the program. It helps that everyone has assured that iphone users can still imessage me with my new number (don't kick me off that group text just yet).

Health Insurance. Yeaaaah, we're doing this a little backwards. Our insurance paperwork won't be processed for another week or so, but I was anxious to get an appointment before starting work in July, so I explained the situation and they said that either they'd wait to bill the insurance or I could just get reimbursed depending on the timing. Dutch insurance takes effect as soon as you become a resident, and then you pay retroactively to that start date, so basically you can have your appendix out 2 days after getting here and as long as you have your Berger Service Number (SSN, essentially) you're totally covered. Pretty crazy, right? +2 Netherlands.

Friends. I'm a pretty social butterfly, so the past few weeks of alone time have been both refreshing and also a little draining. But I keep reminding myself that once I start work, I'll have a built-in network of potential friends. Also, there is a group of wives from Danny's office that gets coffee once a week. I've joined them a couple times and am slowly weaseling my way into the network. I also know there are a million other ways to make friends and we've explored exactly none of them. I think once we are fully settled this will become more of a priority.


Despite the frustrations of waiting for other people to do things for us, the past three weeks have been pretty great. I know we're still getting adjusted but it already kind of feels like home, in the sense that home is where you sit on the couch next to the people you love and watch TV, and home is where you have a favorite grocery store, and home is where you plan for a future longer than a few weeks away. Its still very new, but it is ours and we're very grateful.

Two wheels, unlimited freedom

I learned to drive to read Los Angeles in the original. - Peter Reyner Banham

In our first couple of weeks here we were feeling incredibly anxious. If you know us you know we are do-ers. Research. Go. Do. Check it off the list. So many things that were on our list were out of our control. There's a pretty relaxed vibe in this country around all things, including bank paperwork, real estate, and job onboarding. Our aggressive Type-A mentalities meant we were constantly stomping our feet wondering why everything was taking sooooo.loooooong.

Finally, after two weeks of this unpleasant moodiness, we took control of something and bought ourselves bikes.

Game. Changer.

Disclaimer: We both rode bikes pretty regularly in Chicago, on city streets with bike lanes and without, on lake front paths full of tourists, and surrounded by some of the most aggressive drivers and distracted pedestrians in the world. This experience meant we were incredibly prepared for biking in Amsterdam. I can imagine that if you only equate bike riding with summer vacation and lazy country roads, biking in a city that has built an entire persona around biking would present a serious learning curve.

Everything became more accessible to us once we had bikes. Destinations that took an hour to walk, or 35 minutes on a tram were suddenly 15 minutes and a nice calf workout away. Looking at apartments, running errands, and just experiencing the city all felt like adventures rather than obstacles.

Amsterdam is a city that was meant to be seen by bike. It doesn't lend itself to public transit like Chicago or New York does. And while you can do it on foot or by car, neither is going to leave you quite as satisfied as a bike ride. Almost every road has a corresponding bike lane, often with street lights specifically for bikes (and lights for bikes turning left!! miracle of miracles!), and the bikes truly do rule the road. Cars and pedestrians are both expected to wait for a bike before turning or crossing. Its quite amazing to see when it works correctly.

After an unrequited love affair with a beautiful mint green set of wheels, I invested in a practical, used black bike to prevent the inevitable heart break when it gets stolen/breaks/gets dirty from being out in the elements forever. The bike doesn't have gears or hand breaks or a basket (yet) but it has been my trusty companion as I have earned my bicycling in Amsterdam merit badges including:

• Biking with a shoulder bag full of groceries (I only brought the one bag in our suitcases, so have had to make due and have yet to have an issue)
• Biking in a skirt (and biking in a too-short skirt, which whoops, but also modesty doesn't seem to be high on the list of priorities in this city)
• Biking while checking my phone (this actually makes me incredibly anxious and I only did it when I was completely lost and had already taken several wrong turns, I literally needed to watch the little blue dot move forward to make sure I was heading the correct way)

I'm still working on efficiently parking and unparking my bike (between getting the bike in a spot and getting my lock on/off I'm averaging about five very ungraceful minutes) and using my bell effectively. While the vast majority of the city is full of people who takes bikes seriously, it is also has its share of idiots (both on bikes and just walking around). I often find that when someone has stopped directly in front of me, I am far quicker to just yell, "Hey Asshole!" than ring the bell. The yelling is generally less effective but more mentally satisfying?

I am patiently waiting before committing to bike accessories. Always the most impractical person you know-- I fell in love with this beauty and can't seem to talk myself out of it even though size-wise and logistics-wise its pretty useless. I also have a very beautiful (but completely impractical) bike basket in our storage container which I'm also going to try out before I take the plunge on something new.

Fun Netherlands Fact -- they're so pro-biking in this country that most companies (including mine and Danny's) offer some sort of rebate/tax bonus for buying a bike and accessories. Mine is going to equate to free vacation hours equaling both the cost of the bike and up to 80 euro of accessories. 

The bikes have helped us feel far more connected to the city than anything else thus far and were one of the best parts of our first two weeks here. 

The journey to takeoff

Last Tuesday was travel day. A day I would prefer to forget, but will live on in legend and cautionary tale until the end of time.

Pro tip -- don't fly KLM.

To be fair, KLM is a rule following airline. And we are nothing if not avid rule followers in this house. But I feel as though the rules become less important when a flight is taking off in one hour and there is a line of people waiting to check-in.

The line seemed to take ages and ages, and when finally it was our turn, it was 2:45, the flight was scheduled to take off at 4:00, and we were determined to be efficient. Paperwork out, ready to go.

Except that no one at the KLM counter spoke Dutch, which meant they weren't able to read the letter than gave us permission to move there. So we stood for what felt like 100 years (but perhaps was only 15 minutes) and waited for someone to call the Netherlands to make sure we had permission to move there. None of the goodbyes or the house selling drama was quite as destabilizing as the minutes we waited, unsure if we were even going to be allowed to get on the plane.

Then! After all that! They were incredible concerned about the weight of all of our bags. When we told them we were happy to just pay the over-weight fee and be done with it, the woman insisted that we rearrange everything right there in front of her and so while the seconds towards take off ticked by, we found ourselves moving things from bag to bag. This apparently was what had made the line crawl before we had made it to the front.

Pro tip for KLM - if 2 people have 4 bags, instead of weighing each one individually and making them move flip flips and granola bars from bag to bag, why not just weight them all at the same time and if they average the correct weight then we're done and no one wants to set fire to your counter.

By the by -- if we hadn't mentioned to this woman that we were flying with cats, she wouldn't have even noticed, so focused she was on the weight of all of our things. She gave the forms for the cats a cursory glance and then (finally) sent us on our way.  She was the only person to look at the cats forms. No one else ever even asked for them, so I'm glad we jumped through all those hoops when clearly, taking a cat to the Netherlands is no big deal.

After literally wrassling Miso through security (another pro-tip, don't bother wearing nice clothes when flying with a cat as there is a very real chance they will be destroyed before you make it to your destination) we made it to our gate with about 2 minutes to spare.

The flight itself was largely uneventful (except for Danny being seated in the same row as a woman who could not stand unassisted, which is incredibly dangerous and stupid -- again KLM is the worst --in addition to meaning that their "animals must be 10 rows apart" rule is totally bogus as we ended up being 3 rows apart) and then we landed.

When we went through customs the guy had zero questions -- he didn't care where we were going or how long we were staying, and the "stuff to declare" counter was closed (?!) so once again, no one gave our cats, their paperwork, or anything else we brought a second glance.

So now, we live in the Netherlands in very nice temporary housing, with all the things we thought we needed (that we actually don't) and none of the things we didn't bother to think about bringing.

When you move abroad and only have 4 suitcases for your first 30 days -- do not forget to pack a blanket, plastic bags for cat poop, a few pieces of tupperware, a blank notebook, and at least one of your own pillows.

Several lessons learned...more to come...

Today

Right now I'm sitting on someone else's couch eating yogurt out of the tub that I have over-generously sprinkled granola directly into.

I'm not even sure if they have granola and yogurt where we're going.

90% of our things are on a truck somewhere. In three days they'll be on a boat. Think nice, calm seas thoughts for us.

We have suitcases, inexpertly packed with some things we need and mostly things we couldn't bear to throw away and too many pairs of pajamas.

In the next fifteen minutes we're going to drug our cats, put harnesses on them and put them in carriers. They'll be allowed out in about 12 hours.

Our first stop will be the KLM counter where we'll beg and plead our case to be allowed to sit next to each other so that we're not 10 rows apart on the biggest, most emotional flight of our lives. I'll gladly take a middle seat if it means we don't have to do this alone.

The past few weeks have been a whirlwind of food and friends and board games and running (literally and metaphorically). At some point my emotions shut down -- I am no longer excited or scared or sad or anything, I am just a pile of cells waiting for the inevitable moment when it all hits me and I become a giant pile of goo (which is yet another reason I shouldn't really be sitting next to two strangers on the airplane).

In a few days I'll be able to thoughtfully process what the past few weeks (and 10 years) in Chicago have meant to me. But until then, think safe, quiet travel thoughts for us. We'll see you on the other side of the Atlantic.

T-Minus Ten Days

Here we are. We're moving to Amsterdam in ten days. Literally, actually, ten days.

Everyone knows. Bosses, besties, facebook. We sold our apartment (insert one million praise hand emojis). We sold our guest room furniture and our grill. We have resisted the temptation to buy anything new.

And yet, it doesn't quite feel real yet.

We had a good bye party with too much food and the exact right amount of laughter, our people crowded around our dining room table just where we like them. But it didn't feel like a good bye party. It just felt like a party, like all the ones that came before. There was no sense of it being the last one.

We toured up and down the east coast with the goal of saying goodbye to family and friends, but we were so busy catching up and eating everything that the goodbyes were rushed and didn't quite feel real.

But it is all very real. And in 10 days. The airplane will be real. And the cat carriers. And the four suitcases and two backpacks...

...and that's where my imagination stops because I have been so caught up in the leaving of Chicago, it has left no room for what might be in store when we get off the airplane on the other side of the pond.

So we focus on what lays just ahead of us. All the lasts and the finals and the one mores.  My goal is to take pictures, accept hugs, and remember that nothing is as important as soaking up as much Chicago and joy as I can before that plane takes off.

One month of knowledge

It has been a month since the last post and we finally have more questions than answers. We're out of the dark and into the weeds. The deep, deep weeds.

We know when we're moving. May 30. Two humans, two cats, one airplane. It is (thankfully) a nonstop flight that ends with a cab ride to our temporary apartment. 

We know what we're doing with our current apartment. We're selling it. After a desperate call to my mom that turned into a three day packing and purging fest, we got the apartment on the market a week ago. Please come buy it immediately. 

We know that other people know. Our families know. Most of our friends know. Ironically, it is the people we're closest (both geographically and emotionally) to that don't know. We're not ready to tell work yet, which means we can't tell coworkers (even work boos), and with some other friends celebrating big things in the next few weeks, we're trying not to steal any thunder. But! We have timelines and strategies for telling everyone. 

We know we have visas. And we know when the movers are coming to take all our stuff. And we know which stuff they'll take. We know what neighborhoods we're eyeing. We know when we'll get bank accounts and health insurance. We know which restaurants we're excited to try. 

We also know how annoying it is to mislead people. We know how stressful it is to be living in your house and trying to sell it.  We know how hard it is to not be making Chicago summer plans with everyone. We know how it is to work at a job and know you're not going to be there in seven weeks. 

Right now the highlights are:

watching our cats be stoned on the drugs the vet gave us to try for the flight. They aren't actually helpful for when they're in the carriers, but they're pretty hilarious when they're cracked out. 

following all the Amsterdam instagram (Amstergram) accounts that are posting pictures of tulips and canal-side patios

throwing away everything. Part of the allure of this move is the opportunity to majorly downsize our lives. With the advent of selling things on facebook, we have been able to turn a tidy profit on things that would have just ended up in the dumpster. 

We're still about 90% excited, 90% terrified but feeling just slightly better now that the countdown clock has officially started.

More informed waiting

In the past week, we have learned a few things and decided on almost absolutely nothing.

We now know that D has to leave by May 31. Which is only a few days before we initially planned, but because it is May and not June, it feels so much sooner. It is 84 days. Holy crap.

We have absolutely no idea when I'm going. Maybe May 31, maybe July 1, maybe some time in between? I'm struggling with leaving before the end of the fiscal year of my job because some might  see it as poor form, and also means no bonus.

We know the cats need new microchips. We don't know if they need new rabies shots. But we're giving them new rabies shots anyway. They're going to be so mad. Three vet visits in the next 3 months. And then a seven hour flight. We are trying to find a good time to break the news to them.

We know it is going to be hard for me to find a job due to my not speaking Dutch. I continue to haphazardly apply for jobs with just as much energy as I put into day dreaming about Amsterdam real estate.

Everything is still so up in the air...making the keeping of the secrets harder. And it has taken me three days to write this blog because of cat research, cover letter writing and (mostly) the People vs. OJ Simpson.

Waiting.

We still don't know anything. And we won't until Friday, which is a long time (long enough for me to get some answers from my job about some logistics) -- but good things are happening.

We got to tell people, which is like someone released a pressure valve on my insides. Every time I have to fudge the truth or act excited about things I know I'm not going to experience, the vice grips tighter and tighter. The reactions are relatively positive, but not without some sadness and confusion. Every time we tell someone, I go through all my own emotions about it too. But, it is good to know that most people are happy for our new adventure.

Some people are so excited they've already booked plane tickets! Which is hilarious because we haven't even booked plane tickets. Knowing that there are going to be house guests and fun adventures waiting for us to plan makes me feel like even if we come back (when we come back?) it will have been worth it to give people the opportunity to try a new fun place.

We're learning the language. D is learning with this and I am learning with this. That should tell you almost everything you need to know about us.

We are looking at apartments. And I'm hunting for jobs. I started following gorgeous Amsterdam instagram (Amstagram?) accounts.

Trying to outweigh the anxiety of not knowing with the excitement of all the things to come.

Gratitude for curve balls.

Here's what we know about moving to Amsterdam:

Nothing.

We thought we knew what day and we don't even know that anymore. We will have more answers next week, but right now it is all just guessing. For two very organized people, this is bordering on insufferable.

Today during my yoga class (and yes, I know how tedious it us for people to tie real life to yoga maximums, but there we are) the intention was gratitude. Gratitude for the curve balls.

This felt pretty on.the.nose for how I have been feeling. This life change isn't really a curve ball, we have been planning it for a few months, but now that it is really real, now that we have brought contracts and signatures into the deal, it feels very much like someone punched us in the gut and then shrugged their shoulders and said "but you asked me to..."

So, I'm trying to feel gratitude. This is a capital A - Adventure. It is going to force us to work as a team. We're going to have to try new things. Like really, really new things (like a new language, for one).

I'm grateful that we're going to live in Europe, which means every passing fancy we've ever had about going to Greece or Spain or Denmark is going to be completely accessible to us. We're going to get to dive head first into brand new things, and we can do it over a weekend.

I'm grateful to be living in a place with comprehensive healthcare, maternity leave, and work-life balance. Americans get along okay without these things (or with limited access to them), but what a treat to have them provided because all humans deserve them.

I'm grateful to get to shed some of our extra weight. We own so many things. I am itching to start getting rid of them. Old clothes, old linens, old books -- they deserve a new home that will love them and I am thrilled to have a real reason to be forced to hand them off to new owners.

Feeling grateful helps with the gut wrenching terror of not knowing. It helps for the curve balls that we asked to thrown at our face, and the ones that we know are coming.

99 Days until liftoff

In 99 days, we will board an airplane with all our earthly possessions and two cats with one way tickets to Amsterdam.

(note: most of our earthly possessions will be in a 20 ft shipping container. Sadly they won't let the cats travel in the shipping container).

On Monday night, D accepted a job with an awesome company and so now, we're just going to go. Just pick up and (in 99 days) GO.

Naturally, this is terrifying. and exciting. and sad. and exhilarating. Between the two of us, we have felt every single emotion listed in the emotions book.

But here's the thing, we can't really tell everyone yet. Because we're keeping our jobs for the next three-whole-months. So right now we're in the quiet phase of the campaign. We're letting the key stakeholders know. Like our parents, and our siblings, and my friend who really likes excuses to visit Amsterdam, and my friend who travels to Amsterdam for work.

Right now we're making lists of all the things we have to do in the next 99 days. We keep checking in with each other to see if it is really real. We occasionally look at photos of Amsterdam during a rough patch in the work day to remember what our future holds. We try really hard, during those rough patches, not to shout in the middle of meetings, "I'm leaving!" We're googling how to move a cat, and will my kitchen-aid mixer work, and yoga studios in Amsterdam.

And we're starting a blog, because everyone keeps telling me I have to start a blog. So I used an old gmail address and fired up a brand new blogspot (D said if I write enough maybe he'll give me a custom URL for Christmas. Won't be the first time...).

Here we go.